DBT Wise Mind Exercise
DBT Wise Mind Exercise
By David Hennessy, Clinical Psychologist, Varsity Lakes, Gold Coast, QLD.
Wise Mind is a concept from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), developed by Marsha M. Linehan [1].
DBT proposes that people can become caught in two common ways of responding to situations: Emotion Mind and Reasonable Mind. Wise Mind involves bringing these two ways of knowing together so that a person can respond with greater awareness, balance, and intention.
This resource sits within the broader Emotion Regulation and Behaviour Change hub and may be useful alongside Psychology Support for Personality Disorders, Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder, and Understanding Dependent Personality Disorder.
Emotion Mind
Emotion Mind occurs when thoughts, decisions, and behaviours are driven primarily by feelings.
Examples include:
- Sending a message when angry
- Avoiding a situation because of anxiety
- Making an impulsive purchase when distressed
- Ending a relationship during an intense argument
- Seeking reassurance immediately because uncertainty feels unbearable
Emotion Mind is not wrong. Emotions provide valuable information. They can signal danger, loss, injustice, care, attachment, and unmet needs. However, emotions alone may not always provide the full picture.
Reasonable Mind
Reasonable Mind occurs when decisions are guided primarily by logic, facts, rules, analysis, and planning.
Examples include:
- Making a list of options
- Reviewing evidence
- Calculating risks and benefits
- Following procedures
- Considering likely consequences
Reasonable Mind is also valuable. However, decisions based entirely on logic can sometimes overlook emotional needs, values, relationships, safety, personal meaning, and the lived reality of stress.
Wise Mind
Wise Mind represents the overlap between Emotion Mind and Reasonable Mind.
Wise Mind does not ignore emotions. Wise Mind does not ignore facts.
Instead, Wise Mind involves considering both emotional information and objective information before acting.
Many people describe Wise Mind as:
- A deeper knowing
- Inner wisdom
- A balanced perspective
- A calmer understanding
- A values-based response
Wise Mind is not necessarily the easiest choice. It is often the most effective choice over the longer term.
Why Wise Mind Matters
Research suggests that difficulties regulating emotions can contribute to distress, impulsive behaviour, relationship difficulties, self-criticism, avoidance, and reduced psychological flexibility [2–4].
Wise Mind skills aim to create a brief pause between emotional experience and behavioural response.
This pause can allow a person to notice emotions without immediately reacting, consider longer-term consequences, act more consistently with personal values, make decisions that balance feelings and facts, reduce impulsive behaviour, and respond rather than react.
Wise Mind does not remove emotional pain. Instead, it helps people respond more intentionally to emotional experiences.
For related therapy approaches, you may also find What Is Mindfulness-Based Therapy?, What Is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy?, and What Is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? helpful.
DBT Wise Mind Exercise
Step 1: Identify the Situation
Briefly describe the situation.
What happened?
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Step 2: Identify Emotion Mind
Imagine your emotions are speaking.
What is Emotion Mind saying?
Examples:
- “Leave right now.”
- “They do not care about me.”
- “I cannot cope with this.”
- “I need an answer immediately.”
- “I must make this feeling stop.”
Write your Emotion Mind response:
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Step 3: Identify Reasonable Mind
Imagine pure logic is speaking.
What are the facts?
Examples:
- “The message was sent two hours ago.”
- “There is no evidence they are angry.”
- “I have managed similar situations before.”
- “Making a decision while overwhelmed may not help.”
Write your Reasonable Mind response:
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Step 4: Find Wise Mind
Now consider:
- What do my emotions tell me?
- What do the facts tell me?
- What matters most in the longer term?
- What action would I respect tomorrow?
- What action fits with the kind of person I want to be?
Write your Wise Mind response:
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Step 5: Choose a Wise Mind Action
What is one small action I can take that reflects Wise Mind?
Examples:
- Wait before replying
- Ask a question rather than make an accusation
- Take a walk before deciding
- Use a coping skill
- Set a boundary respectfully
- Seek support appropriately
- Accept uncertainty temporarily
My Wise Mind action:
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Example of Wise Mind in Practice
Situation
A friend has not replied to a message.
Emotion Mind
“They are ignoring me.”
“I have done something wrong.”
“I should send another message immediately.”
Reasonable Mind
“They may be busy.”
“There is no evidence they are upset.”
“They usually reply eventually.”
Wise Mind
“I feel anxious and I would like reassurance. At the same time, I do not know why they have not replied. Waiting a little longer is likely to be more helpful than repeatedly messaging.”
Wise Mind Action
Wait until tomorrow before sending a follow-up message.
Practising Wise Mind
Wise Mind is not a skill people master instantly.
Like learning a trade, driving a vehicle, or developing physical fitness, Wise Mind develops through repeated practice.
Initially, people often notice Wise Mind only after a situation has passed. With practice, they may begin to recognise Wise Mind during the situation itself.
Over time, Wise Mind can become increasingly accessible during moments of stress, conflict, uncertainty, and strong emotion.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is Wise Mind the Same as Being Calm?
Not necessarily. A person can be emotionally upset and still act from Wise Mind. Wise Mind is about responding with awareness, not pretending emotions are absent.
Does Wise Mind Ignore Feelings?
No. Wise Mind considers emotions as important information while also considering facts, values, consequences, and longer-term goals.
Can Wise Mind Help With Anxiety?
Many people find Wise Mind helpful because it encourages a balanced response to anxiety rather than reacting automatically to anxious thoughts or feelings.
Is Wise Mind Only Used in DBT?
Wise Mind originated within DBT, but the underlying principles overlap with mindfulness, emotion regulation, acceptance-based approaches, and many evidence-based psychological therapies.
Can Wise Mind Help With Relationship Conflict?
Yes. Wise Mind can help a person pause, consider both emotion and facts, and choose a response that is less reactive and more consistent with their longer-term relationship values.
References
- Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
- Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford Press.
- Neacsiu, A. D., Rizvi, S. L., & Linehan, M. M. (2010). Dialectical behavior therapy skills use as a mediator and outcome of treatment for borderline personality disorder. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(9), 832–839. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2010.05.017
- Valentine, S. E., Bankoff, S. M., Poulin, R. M., Reidler, E. B., & Pantalone, D. W. (2015). The use of dialectical behavior therapy skills training as stand-alone treatment: A systematic review of the treatment outcome literature. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 71(1), 1–20. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.22114
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