By David Hennessy, Clinical Psychologist
Positive affirmations can be like tiny chocolate bars. Lovely, short-lived, sweet little boosts. But just as a chocolate bar isn’t a dinner, affirmations in isolation are not enough to nourish real and lasting change in our lives.
Affirmations are wonderful little doses of positivity. But if we want sustainable, life-changing impact, we need to build on them in grounded and values-consistent ways.
Here’s how we can do that.
Affirming “I am safe” when we don’t feel safe can make us feel more disconnected. But affirming something like “I am doing what I can to support my safety and wellbeing today” is grounded, believable, and still compassionate.
Values are like a compass. They help us navigate decisions, actions, and intentions in a way that feels meaningful and authentic. When affirmations are consistent with what truly matters to us, such as courage, kindness, connection, learning, or honesty, they become more than just comforting words. They guide us and orient us toward the kind of life we want to live, even when the terrain is difficult or uncertain.
Once we have grounded, values-based affirmations, the next step is to convert them into actionable steps. For example, the magic starts to happen not when we only say “I value connection,” but when we clearly define an action that cultivates connection, like making that call, joining that group, or setting aside time for someone we care about.
Then we schedule these values-aligned actions into our lives. Whether it’s small daily practices or larger life changes, consistency matters more than intensity. Progress is rarely a straight line. But we can increase our chances of staying on track by creating a reality-based, values-consistent schedule and gently holding ourselves accountable to it. Formulate it. Schedule it. Put it into practice. By going through this process, we build trust in our own capacity to adapt, recover, and move forward, even when life shifts beneath our feet.
From “I can’t do this”
To “I initially found this very challenging, but now after affirming, grounding in reality, aligning with my values, converting into action, and scheduling into my routine, I have witnessed myself managing this, and I have noticed my faith grow in my ability to manage this and similar situations.”
Hennessy Clinical Psychology: David Hennessy, Clinical Psychologist