Positive affirmations can be like tiny chocolate bars. Lovely, short-lived, sweet little boosts. But just as a chocolate bar isn’t a dinner, affirmations in isolation are not enough to nourish real and lasting change in our lives. For us to experience a sense of sustainable safety, our mind and nervous system want data that is as grounded and based in reality.
Affirmations are wonderful little doses of positivity. But if we want sustainable, life-changing impact, we need to build on them in grounded and values-consistent ways.
Affirming “I am safe” when we don’t feel safe can make us feel more disconnected. But affirming something like “I am doing what I can to support my safety and wellbeing today” is grounded, believable, and still compassionate. This approach aligns with cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), which emphasises realistic and adaptive self-talk [1] .
Values are like a compass. They help us navigate decisions, actions, and intentions in a way that feels meaningful and authentic. When affirmations are consistent with what truly matters to us, such as courage, kindness, connection, learning, or honesty, they become more than just comforting words. They guide us and orient us toward the kind of life we want to live, even when the terrain is difficult or uncertain. This is a core principle in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) [2].
Once we have grounded, values-based affirmations, the next step is to convert them into actionable steps. For example, the magic starts to happen not when we only say “I value connection,” but when we clearly define an action that cultivates connection, like making that call, joining that group, or setting aside time for someone we care about. This values-to-action pathway is supported by behavioural activation models and ACT research [3].
Then we schedule these values-aligned actions into our lives. Whether it’s small daily practices or larger life changes, consistency matters more than intensity. Progress is rarely a straight line. But we can increase our chances of staying on track by creating a reality-based, values-consistent schedule and gently holding ourselves accountable to it.
Formulate it. Schedule it. Put it into practice.
By going through this process, we build trust in our own capacity to adapt, recover, and move forward, even when life shifts beneath our feet. This kind of intentional goal-setting is shown to improve psychological resilience and wellbeing [4].
From:
“I can’t do this”
To:
“I initially found this very challenging, but now, after affirming, grounding in reality, aligning with my values, converting into action, and scheduling into my routine, I have witnessed myself managing this, and I have noticed my faith grow in my ability to manage this and similar situations.”
This represents a shift consistent with CBT’s emphasis on reappraisal, behavioural experimentation, and cognitive restructuring [5].
For values-based therapy, behavioural support, and strengths-focused psychological care in Varsity Lakes and online, please contact Hennessy Clinical Psychology.