Surviving in Adversity, Surrounded by Beauty
Life rarely gives us comfort without discomfort. At different times, we may experience grief, uncertainty, illness, relationship difficulties, financial pressure, trauma, disappointment or other forms of adversity. Some experiences can be changed. Others may need to be endured, adapted to, or carried for a time.
Yet difficult circumstances do not necessarily remove everything else from our lives.
Beauty, connection, humour, kindness, interest and moments of calm can sometimes remain present alongside pain. Noticing them does not require us to deny what is difficult.
The Daisies on the Volcanic Rock
The photograph accompanying this article shows small yellow daisies growing among dark volcanic rock near the ocean.
I was struck by the contrast.
The rock is hard and seemingly inhospitable. Yet among it, small flowers grow. The difficult environment has not disappeared. The flowers have not transformed the rock into something soft or comfortable. Both are simply present.
This can provide a useful metaphor for experiences of adversity.
At times, life can contain circumstances that are painful, unfair, exhausting or beyond our control. At the same time, there may still be moments of beauty, connection or meaning.
The intentional acknowledgement of the presence of beauty does not erase pain.
Nor does acknowledging pain mean that we must become blind to everything else.
Pain and Beauty Can Exist Together
When people are going through difficult periods, it can be understandable for attention to become increasingly focused on threat, loss, uncertainty or what needs to be solved.
This is not necessarily a failure of thinking. Our minds are particularly sensitive to possible danger and problems that require attention [1].
However, when adversity continues for a long time, our attention can become increasingly narrowed around what is wrong.
We may stop noticing things that would ordinarily register with us: sunlight through a window, a bird outside, the ocean, music, a conversation, the warmth of a cup of tea, a moment of humour, or simply somebody behaving kindly.
Recognising these experiences does not mean telling ourselves that everything is fine.
It means allowing our awareness to become broad enough to include more of what is actually present.
Comfort and Discomfort
Comfort and discomfort are constants in life.
We naturally tend to move towards experiences that are pleasant and away from those that are painful. Much of the time, this is useful.
But psychological wellbeing does not necessarily mean eliminating discomfort.
Some discomfort accompanies things that matter to us. Caring about another person makes loss possible. Trying something unfamiliar creates uncertainty. Having meaningful goals creates the possibility of disappointment. Standing up for something important can involve anxiety or conflict.
At other times, discomfort arrives without invitation through illness, trauma, bereavement, financial problems or circumstances outside our control.
A psychologically flexible response can involve making room for difficult internal experiences while continuing to notice and engage with other aspects of life [2].
Holding Two Things at Once
There is a concept in psychology often described as dialectical thinking. In simple terms, it involves recognising that two apparently opposing experiences can both be true.
I can be struggling and still experience moments of enjoyment.
I can miss someone and continue living meaningfully.
I can be frightened and act courageously.
I can dislike my circumstances and find something worthwhile within my day.
I can want things to change and recognise what I cannot currently change.
This differs from forced positive thinking.
It does not require replacing an uncomfortable thought with a pleasant one. Instead, it allows a more complete description of our experience.
The volcanic rock is still there.
So are the flowers.
Noticing What Is Still Present
When adversity is significant, deliberately noticing pleasant or meaningful experiences can sometimes feel trivial.
It need not be.
We are not required to turn every difficult experience into a lesson or search relentlessly for a positive side.
Sometimes something is simply painful.
However, it can be useful to periodically widen our attention and ask:
- What else is present right now?
- Is there anything beautiful, interesting or comforting that I have not noticed?
- Who or what remains important to me?
- Is there a small activity that helps me reconnect with something I value?
- What can I influence today, even if I cannot change the larger situation?
These questions are not intended to make distress disappear. They may simply help prevent adversity from occupying the whole field of attention.
Small Practices That May Support Resilience
Resilience is sometimes portrayed as toughness or the ability to remain unaffected by difficult experiences. A more useful understanding is often the capacity to adapt, recover where possible, seek support and continue engaging with life while acknowledging genuine difficulty.
Some practices that people may find helpful include noticing small moments of pleasure or interest, spending time in natural environments, maintaining contact with supportive people, allowing periods of rest and recovery, engaging in meaningful activities, and bringing attention back to the present when the mind becomes caught in past events or future possibilities [3].
These practices are not cures for adversity.
They are small ways of maintaining contact with parts of life that may otherwise become obscured when difficulty demands much of our attention.
When Adversity Is High
There are times when distress is substantial enough that noticing beauty or practising self-care will understandably not be sufficient.
Professional support may help people understand what they are experiencing, develop ways of responding to difficult thoughts and emotions, work through traumatic experiences where appropriate, and identify practical ways of living alongside circumstances that cannot immediately be changed [2,4].
Psychological therapy does not require people to pretend that painful experiences are positive.
Sometimes the work is about developing greater flexibility in how we relate to what has happened, what is happening now, and what remains possible.
Surrounded by Beauty
The flowers growing among the volcanic rock do not make the rock disappear.
Perhaps they do not need to.
There can be value in learning to notice the full landscape rather than requiring one part of it to cancel out another.
When adversity is high, we can acknowledge the difficulty honestly while remaining open to moments of connection, meaning, humour, kindness and beauty when they appear.
Both belong.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does noticing positive experiences mean ignoring adversity?
No. Painful and pleasant experiences can sometimes coexist. Noticing something beautiful, meaningful or comforting does not require denying what is difficult.
Is this the same as positive thinking?
No. This article does not suggest replacing painful thoughts with positive ones. It describes broadening attention so adversity does not necessarily occupy the entire field of awareness.
What is psychological flexibility?
Psychological flexibility broadly involves remaining open to internal experiences, staying in contact with the present and responding in ways that are consistent with personally meaningful values [2].
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References and Resources
- Clauss, K., Gorday, J. Y., & Bardeen, J. R. (2022). Eye tracking evidence of threat-related attentional bias in anxiety- and fear-related disorders: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 93, 102142. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2022.102142.
- Macri, J. A., & Rogge, R. D. (2024). Examining domains of psychological flexibility and inflexibility as treatment mechanisms in acceptance and commitment therapy: A comprehensive systematic and meta-analytic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 110, 102432. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2024.102432.
- Bettmann, J. E., Speelman, E., Blumenthal, E., Couch, S., & McArthur, T. (2024). How does nature exposure affect adults with symptoms of mental illness? A meta-analysis. International Journal of Mental Health Nursing, 33(6), 1889–1907. https://doi.org/10.1111/inm.13400.
- Jericho, B., Luo, A., & Berle, D. (2023). The efficacy and acceptability of psychological interventions for adult PTSD: A network and pairwise meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 91(8), 445–461. https://doi.org/10.1037/ccp0000809.
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