By David Hennessy, Clinical Psychologist
Comfort and discomfort are constants in life. At times, pain feels too large and our ability to cope too small. Illness, grief, financial pressures, or relationship strain can leave us feeling powerless, trapped, broken and defeated (Southwick & Charney, 2018).
Yet beauty continues alongside hardship. The intentional noticing of small things, such as a sunrise, a kookaburra’s laugh, a friend’s hand, or a flower in bloom, does not stop the pain but steadies us and reminds us that both struggle and beauty are always present. Like daisies growing on volcanic rock in harsh but beautiful conditions, resilience and beauty coexist. Life is a balancing act between difficulty and ease, comfort and discomfort, despair and hope (Kalisch et al., 2019).
Opposing truths coexist. We can acknowledge pain while still allowing space for beauty. Sometimes we have to effortfully look for the beauty. This shift broadens our view of what is possible and helps us avoid being swallowed by adversity (Hayes, Hofmann, & Stanton, 2020).
Resilience is not pretending everything is fine. It means continuing step by step while staying connected to what matters. Helpful practices include noticing beauty intentionally, seeking supportive connection, resting when needed, and acting in line with personal values.
When adversity is high, rather than force gratitude or positivity, it may help to make space for both pain and beauty. Both belong. Both are part of being human (Neff & Germer, 2019).
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